There comes a time when a woman has tried everything she can, said everything she has to say, and done everything she can to save her relationship. She must recognize and admit that the above will not be worth it.
If you are not man enough to sit down, listen to your wife, try to understand her needs, and do all you can to fulfill them. Here are 21 things your wife wants you to know.
- She needs a husband
Get up and be one, or at least be a man. She would have moved into a shared house with a stranger if she wanted a housemate. At least she would have been happier.
- She is hurting and cries herself to sleep.
Her towels and pillows are soaked. Her eyes are swollen, but more than that, her heart is broken into pieces. She knows you are too cold to care, but is comforted by Psalm 126:5, which says, They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.
- She wants to be loved
When you took those vows, you promised to love and cherish her until death. Love means spending time with her and prioritizing her at least some of the time. Love is like how your friends treat their wives and family.
- She believes you are ashamed of her
The disparaging references you make about her body, the fact that you never go anywhere with her, and just downright how you treat her are a testament to your obvious distaste for her.
- She regrets marrying you
If there were the slightest imagination that this would be her life after these many years, she would have never married you. If marrying you were her only choice, she would have remained single.
- She is hoping that karma will get you
At her lowest, sometimes she wishes that karma would bite you in the you-know-what. But karma will never come to her hands; she will not cheat, not poison your food, and she will not do anything of the sort. She is going to remain above board and leave you with time.
- She doesn’t believe you will ever change
She had hoped you would change over the years, but after all these years, it is clear you won’t, not even for your own good. If you do change by the slightest chance, she won’t be around to see it.
- She’s making plans to leave you
She will leave you at the first opportunity. She no longer cares about you; she cares about what people will say. She is tired of pretending to please you and others; her happiness comes first. Since it’s your concern, you can explain to people when she’s away.
- Anywhere is better than here
It doesn’t matter where she goes, as long as it is as far away from you as possible. After all, home is where the hurt is. She would rather be hurt by strangers than by a man she vowed to become one with.
- She believes you married her for the benefits
If sex and getting your chores done were all you wanted, you didn’t need a wife. Sex can be bought, and you can hire a housekeeper. To make it easier, one hired person can meet both those needs.
- You are incredibly disrespectful
Even in the children’s presence. Because you have no respect, the children have none, and neither does your family. Say you are leaving when you are about to go, and say you are back when you get back. It’s that simple. She needs to find out where you are if you fall ill.
- Sorry is a legitimate and legal word.
You can say sorry and try to mean it when you are wrong.
- Hurt people, hurt people (Counseling can help)
It’s no use pretending. There is no way you could treat your family so atrociously if something weren’t hurting you or had hurt you. If you need help, get help, and do it to save what remains of your family. Counseling can help, but only if you want it to.
- She is not perfect, but deserves better
She knows she isn’t perfect and is willing to do all she can to make the marriage work, but it takes two. One compromising partner cannot prevent a marriage from deteriorating. It takes two to get through. Progress will only come when there is unity in the relationship.
- Your friends don’t respect you
They smile with you, play dominoes with you, and go out with you, but because of how you treat your family, they don’t respect you. Their wives know more about you and your plans than she does, and she is both ashamed and amazed by how much your friends’ wives know and tell her.
- You’re going to regret those hours you spent away from your family
The person or persons you spend countless hours on the phone with don’t care for you as she does, and they won’t be there for you when you need them most. The mistress didn’t sign up for sickness and health; she did.
- You’re going to miss her when she’s gone.
All you have ever known is that she is always there, caring for your needs. But there is an old saying, “Cow never know the use of him tail until him lose it.” This ‘tail’ will not be back.
- Our relationship is ruining our children’s lives
The children talk and talk a lot; they think our relationship is weird. They have decided they won’t get married, and she has been trying to assure them their marriages won’t be like this. But they don’t believe her because the relationships they see around them are all they know.
- Her feelings for you have subsided
There have been moments when she wished that not only her feelings but also she would die as well. But not anymore; she is stronger than that, and by God’s grace, she will overcome it.
- She blames herself
For putting up with all this crap and for this long, but she is assured that she did all she could.
- She is praying for you
Despite all of the above, she is praying that you recognize your shortcomings not only toward her but also toward yourself and, most importantly, toward God.
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