Dear Henry and Hannah,
Happy New Year to You!!!
By the time you see my letter, it will be a new century, a new time, and a new New Year.
I write this letter with a heavy heart, but I am still grateful to see another year. While my family and I have had a great start to the new year, as an empath, I am not directly affected; I feel for those who haven’t had such a good start to 2026.
While many people worldwide celebrated the imminence of 2026 with a kaleidoscope of lights, liquor, and loved ones, thousands in Switzerland felt the weight of darkness and grief.
As was reported, 40 young people lost their lives in a fire that broke out in a Swiss bar, and over 100 more were injured, some severely. My sincere condolences to those who mourn, my prayers for a full recovery to those who were injured, and a warm, albeit virtual hug to those who are grieving and grappling with the aftermath of the devastation. Whether they be families, friends, medical staff, concerned citizens, or others worldwide who bear Switzerland’s immense pain and anguish.
Henry and Hannah, we can and should learn some lessons from this experience, and I will share some of them in my private letters to you.
Publicly examining the situation to identify mistakes and apply lessons learned to minimize, and even eliminate, the recurrence of a life-changing event like this can seem insensitive, especially now. Unfortunately, even years later, people will not want to return to this unimaginable tragedy.
Understandably, grief can slow objectivity. People are more inclined to keep everything under wraps out of respect for the families of the deceased. While that is good and well, the best way to respect these families is to minimize, or better yet, prevent other families from experiencing a similar tragedy.
If these events weren’t sensational nine-day wonders, this bar fire and the ones before it in other countries could have been prevented. Regrettably, this New Year’s Day fire in Switzerland isn’t the first bar fire, and unfortunately, it may not be the last.
Various reports suggest that sparks from champagne bottles set off a fire that spread to the flammable ceiling. I’m skimming the details because, of course, joining the bandwagon in pointing fingers at this point hurts more than it helps. Notwithstanding, accountability has to be taken for the loss of human lives, even more so for one of this magnitude.
In a particular video recorded inside the bar, the fire caught the ceiling, and some patrons stood, looking up at it, unaware that not just the ceiling but the entire bar would be engulfed in flames in a moment. At least one person tried to put out the blaze, but unbeknownst to him, his efforts were probably fueling it.
In a moment, the fire, as fire often does, raised its ugly head, and amid the flames, heat, and smoke, the patrons tried to escape in a panic. The bar was an underground location, with a narrow, winding exit, and unfortunately, stampede, rush, and fright culminated in chaos, a bottleneck, if you will, on the narrow staircase.
People screamed, and many tried to find an alternate route to escape the furious flames. Unfortunately, reports suggested that 34 of the 40 people who died perished on that narrow staircase.
While I want to respect the grieving family, as your great-great-great-great aunt, I have a duty to share a few lessons with you in hopes that you will not find yourself in this situation. But if God forbid that you do, I want you to know exactly what to do.
- First things first, you have no business being in a bar, not while you are young or old. Children as young as 14 years old were in that bar that night, but my understanding is that in that country, the age for alcohol consumption is relatively low.
Now, again, I am not here to judge anyone, but as for me and my house, whether it’s a holiday or not, you aren’t allowed to drink alcohol. Notice that I didn’t say ‘when you are young’ or ‘until you are this age’—none, nada, absolutely no alcohol.
Here are a few Scriptures relating to alcohol and the importance of maintaining sobriety.
- Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts. 7 Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more. Proverbs 31:6-7. Unless you are ready to perish or want to forget your poverty and misery, the consumption of alcohol is not for you.
- The next Bible verse is quite popular, but I’ve realized that knowing Scripture and adhering to its counsel are entirely different. Proverbs 20:1 says, “Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.” Alcohol is a very deceptive drug, and in my personal letters to you, I will be more vulnerable or blunt, if you will.
- Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: 1 Peter 5:8. Getting drunk by consuming alcohol is the opposite of sobriety. In a state of drunkenness, especially for those young minds, devouring them is child’s play for the devil.
Hen and Han, alcohol inhibits a man’s senses, causes him to slow down, and thus allows the enemy to devour him effortlessly. That’s precisely what he did to those young people, and believe it or not, so many more people will fall prey to the same trap.
- Research before you go to a new place. Before you even get there, research the place and its surroundings. Some years ago, I was working at a law firm, and my manager and I were going to a particular place I had never been before.
We were going to conduct business, but a few days before I got there, I researched the area and found that there were specific rules that we had to observe upon entering the building. Why? Because a couple of years before that, there was a robbery, and a security guard lost his life there. If I hadn’t done my research, I wouldn’t have known that.
When I got there and started adjusting myself to enter the building, my manager inquired, and I shared the information I had gathered. She was impressed that I had done my research before going. Researching where you are going, who will be there, what the weather will be like, the food, access to transportation, etc., is not optional; it is fundamental.
- Observe your surroundings and position yourself properly. When you go somewhere, don’t just go there and sit down. Go to the bathroom, discreetly observe people, and look around for emergency exits and other exits.
While I am not encouraging you to overthink like your aunt, think through what-if scenarios. It is imperative to ask yourself, “What are the strategies I would employ if unfavorable circumstances occur?”
Personally, crowded spaces are a recipe for a stampede, and too many people realize this a bit too late. At my age, I’ve seen too many costly eventualities. A racecar driver lost control of the vehicle at a race meet and killed onlookers on the sidelines; bulls got loose and ripped up patrons. While I haven’t experienced a stampede, it’s the deadliest of all.
You don’t have to be up close and personal with a race car going at astronomical speed; you don’t have to be on the front line of danger to experience the thrill.
No, I am not suggesting you live your life in fear or avoid fun, but remember: the best fun is responsible fun. Anything else leaves a trail of regret and fury.
I am also not naive about situations that can be so dire that you may be unable to execute your plans. You may freeze in fear, or the chance to escape may not present itself. However, some people live to tell their tales because they planned ahead and executed their plans as situations unfolded.
Hence, it is still better to have a plan than none at all, because in that moment, your brain is less likely to be in a position to execute an effective strategy, while hell is breaking loose. The bottom line is, your brain can’t remember what you didn’t store in it.
- Hardly anything good happens out on the streets after midnight. I’ve heard this so often, and whether we agree or not, countless instances have proven it true. Especially at this time, when the value placed on human lives is dwindling, some things are better to watch from the comfort of your home.
Is it the same experience?
It isn’t, but when similar incidents occur worldwide, would-be victims and their families are all too happy they opted to experience some events from their living rooms, or not at all.
Are you safe at home all the time?
No, but it’s much safer at home, and there is just a different feeling when tragedy comes to meet you at home than when you get dressed and spend money to meet it. It’s almost like you spent your hard-earned cash and ordered the most gruesome plate of death for yourself.
- Your safety is your responsibility. In my subsequent letters to you, I will share a personal example of how important it is to look after yourself, even if someone tells you they will be responsible for you. Very few people will put their lives on the line for another person, and this is not because they are selfish; in the midst of trouble, it’s survival of the fittest.
People are instinctively going to try to save themselves, and that’s okay, so should you.
In the aftermath of the unfortunate incidents, not only the one that occurred in Switzerland, all you are likely to hear is that someone dropped the ball. Again, while trying to avoid the specifics of this case, you will likely hear that the owners did or didn’t do something that contributed to the tragedy.
Then the blame is passed to governmental authorities, who should have ensured that the necessary inspections and approvals for the building were obtained. In seeking to avoid plausible penalties, including the possibility of going to prison, staff, managers, and anyone and anything are not excluded from the blame game.
My point is, no matter who ends up being held accountable, nothing will bring those young people back and cease the pain of their loved ones. Whether good or bad, humans are humans; some are negligent, and others make mistakes. Understanding that, as humanly possible, you are in charge of your safety, reduces the chance of their negligence and mistakes costing you.
- Finally, fire is a fast, ferocious, and often fatal foe. On speaking about things that are never satisfied, Proverbs 30:16 says, “The fire saith not, it is enough.” Never, ever stay, especially in a closed space, and watch a fire. The minute you see fire, no matter how tiny it is, get to safety.
Fire is prideful and has no shame in displaying its full capacity for all the world to see, especially when it is fueled by the alcohol that was in the bar. You can watch a fire from a safe distance and try to help when you are secure, including by calling first responders.
Too many people fail to recognize that, while the flames distract with their dazzling dance, behind the facade are tentacles of smoke and heat, waiting to engulf the space with a rapid, monstrous exhale. By then, visibility is impaired, and the heat becomes so intense that it creates a wave of panic, pandemonium, and peril.
You can’t be friends with fire; it’s a deadly deal.
Old-time people used to say, “Tek sleep an mark death.” The challenge before us is that many business operators and governmental agencies worldwide, even those with resources, will not take Switzerland’s sleep and mark death in their own countries.
Other countries will have an emotional response to a tragedy like the one in Switzerland and even issue a public statement for the bereaved country, but fail to ramp up inspections in their own backyard.
Oh, that is so unfortunate for Switzerland, they say, until it happens in their country; then the next, and not until they see mounting dead bodies in their country will they move a muscle. Some people will mention the tragedy in a meeting, look concerned, and say that we will have to do this and that. But saying what should be done and making sure it gets done are two different stories.
How do I know this?
I’ve been in many meetings where it’s just talk until something happens, then everybody starts scurrying and finger-pointing. Understanding that your safety is your responsibility on the job, on the roads, and wherever you are reduces the chances of incidents, accidents, and injuries to yourself and others.
Irresponsible parenting.
Before closing this letter, despite the hurt, pain, and despair of parents and guardians who have lost their loved ones tragically, parents should not escape reasonable accountability for what happens to their children. Too many parents have blurred the lines between being a responsible parent and being their child’s friend.
God didn’t bless us with children to become our best buds. As parents, we are responsible for our children’s spiritual, mental, physical, educational, and safety well-being, among other things.
When my sister and I were teenagers, one of the few public events we could go to was the annual back-to-school concert in our community. At 5:30 pm, our mother would start singing a tune; we detested “Night owl, night owl, here comes the night owl.” That meant that, despite our many chores, we should have been at the concert and home by then.
Want to know what’s funny?
The concert hadn’t even started yet. But late concert starts were not my mother’s problem. By the time we hurried to the event, saw things being set up, and the early juggling of the music, someone would come up to us and tell us our mother was at the ‘street mouth’ calling us. That time was barely after 7 pm, and if we were lucky, a few minutes to 8 pm.
Fearing she’d come get us in front of our friends herself, we didn’t hesitate.
Thus, it’s hard to imagine that 14-, 15-, and even 16-year-olds are in bars until the wee hours of the morning, especially given how serious times have gotten.
When my sister and I left the event, we saw our mother at the street mouth, standing like a mighty mom, even though she was short. As we walked toward her, my sister and I threw the biggest tantrums we could, but lowered our voices as we got closer. We would then pass her and walk in front of her, with our mouths long, and still throwing inaudible tantrums.
Did we detest our mother’s supreme authority in those moments?
Of course we did. As teenagers, we thought she was the cruelest mother on planet Earth.
Did she care?
Heck, no!
A few of our friends got to stay at the concert much longer, and even when we told our mother those parents would keep an eye on us, she didn’t budge.
Why?
We were her responsibility. Looking back, my mother knew who the queen of our home was, and she had no intention of abdicating her reign and throne for a bunch of teenagers.
For fear of offending their children, too many parents are reluctant to say no. No was a staple in my household, and back then, no didn’t have to be verbalized or even explained. Just no, end of story.
While I am not saying this is the best approach for all children in all eras, the word ‘no’ never killed a soul; in fact, from a human perspective, parents saying ‘no’ could be the very reason some children are still alive.
Henry and Hannah, life is beautiful, so I am not encouraging you to live in fear. But there are plenty of ways to enjoy yourself other than being cramped in a crowded space after midnight, dousing yourself with deadly poison, even if the label says it’s the finest wine that ever existed since the beginning of time.
Until I write again, use wisdom and stay safe out there.
Your great-great-great-great-aunt.
Patrene Dawkins.
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